Prelude: I have been fiddling with this one for quite some time now, never finding quite the right words. And not convinced myself enough that it even makes for a blog post. It is, after all, just a random thought. Then again, this is what I use my blog for, right? To put words into stuff that seem nonsensical, and let them all out?
I can’t count the number of times I have shouted at someone because I had been shouted at by someone else. Or maybe just because I was generally pissed and frustrated and was dying to take it all out on someone. And I swear (literally!) that this is the case with everyone else too. Except of course, them saint-like people who simply swallow it all and don’t react at all. They don’t exist in my life, for all I care; I don’t know them, and they don’t make for the majority so anyway they don’t count. But coming back to where I was: It is, in general, the rule of nature that any “bad” vibe being generated by one person is circulated, or diffused in the surroundings. Most of the times some unlucky undeserving person is used as a carrier, but whatever be the mode of conveyance, the swear keeps floating in the scene as a consequence. I mean, doesn’t it always happen like this? I swear at you because my mother yelled at me; you then yell at your best friend who then takes it out on the waiter and he goes swears at the sweeper and blah blah blah, so on and so forth…? What makes me think is, where does all the swearing and yelling and cursing and cussing go? Do they just keep floating around, being passed from one person to another? Or do they get dismissed after a while?
If you really think about it hard (that is, if you have enough free time to waste on useless contemplating like I do) the answer to this would actually solve my perennial doubt: Does a sorry really mend things? Because if it does, then it means that once you say sorry, that tiny little ugly bubble of “bad” bursts into happy droplets and the swear-cycle breaks and once again everything is right with the world. Should have been simple, eh?
Sad to say, not for me, though. You see, I am the kind who would forgive, but wouldn’t forget. From which, follows the fact that if anyone has sworn at me, or yelled at me, and then said sorry later on, I would still not get past the fact that they had sworn at me. Which means the “bad” bubble would still keep hovering around. And I am sure I must not be the only one in this planet who feels this way (can’t be statistically possible, there can be only so many permutations and combinations of traits!) So bear me while I ask yet again, where does it all go? Where does the cycle break?
And now when I think of it deeper, I see myself in a sea of bubbles (speech bubbles, this time) with a nice little juicy swear word stamped on them (ending in exclamations, too). Now and then, one of them breaks with a sigh, but so many more come into being at the same time…! Maybe on sunshine-y days they float off to some far away land, but then they never really go away, you know. All it takes is one gloomy grey day and they are back. I just wish someone would help me undo this picture inside my head, and wipe off that ever-present question mark that I keep seeing inside my brain.
So much more now. There must something like be a legal limit on doling out absolute nonsense on unsuspecting readers and I think I just crossed it. Now go dole nonsense on someone else, if you follow me (wink, wink!) Ciao!