Prelude: This should have been the compulsory obligatory year-end post, even though there are a good two weeks left for this year to end. However, I am not disillusioned (not anymore) about new beginnings and old endings, so when I say this should have been that post, I am saying this is NOT that post. Hmm.
There used to be a time when New Year’s eve and the countdown to it left me with a heady feeling. New Year day meant starting with a fresh clean slate, with the last year totally wiped off it. As if things work like that…as if the way you feel about things would change overnight. There also used to be a time when I would make resolutions, and try stick to them at least. Slashed that out since last time, too. If anything, try reading Bridget Jone’s Diary, and start with the very first page and end at the last page. I don’t think I would have to plead my case any more.
If anything, I have learnt that resolutions, and irony, have this weird pact between them. And I am living proof to it. So last year on the 31st, I emphatically changed my relationship status to “Single” on Facebook. With the resolution of not getting involved at least for the whole of this year. I had sworn the words “I love you” wouldn’t escape my lips. I was done with men. Who needed them anyway?
What actually happened was I met this friend of my sister’s who I had known for the last six years, after a gap of some two years, and we all attended a wedding together on 31st January (just a month from New Year’s eve, I tell you!). By February, we were back to being in different time zones and there wasn’t a single day we hadn’t talked to each other. And by March, we had decided to marry each other after we were “arranged to fall in love”. Hang on, there’s more. In June we met for the first time as a proper couple, and by July I knew I was in love like I had never known existed. The date of our engagement (yeah, right) got fixed in August, and in November, we actually got engaged. December, and we are again back to being in different time zones, and pining for each other like any normal couple who have met each other for a week in the whole year (that too not at a stretch) would.
All in a year’s time. The New Year resolution could go jump out the window for all I cared. I anyways think I saw it fly the window sometime mid-year.
And since that time, I am totally done with the whole resolution thing. What has to happen, will happen. So you decide to quit some bad habit. Isn’t it true that most of the time, it actually gives you a reason to indulge in it all the more just before you try start quitting. I mean, you say “Eh, last few days before I give up” and then go ahead and let yourself loose. Also, honestly speaking, how many of us have actually been able to do that just because calenders got changed all over the world? Don’t we all need a much stronger reason to give it our best shot and give it up, if at all it is that difficult to give up? I think it is more about will-power anyway. The new year, is just an excuse. And as for goals and ambitions for the new year. You really really think the new year is what you need to give something your best shot?
Call me a pessimist, or a dampener in this festive season, full of hope and what not. But what I really truly believe is in the spirit of life, all the time. Why just the year end? For me, the next year would mean a lot of things. I will finally be a post-graduate, after three years of cribbing and crying. I will, hopefully, also be a Mrs.! I will leave my country to go live in far far land. And I will have not broken any of my resolutions, because I will have made none!!
Cheers to the new year. Cheers to all of us. And like I said, this is NOT the year-end post. So I will be back. With more of me. Before the year’s an asymmetric 2011 unlike the nice and beautiful 2010.