It’s been a long time, I know. But well, sorry and all. You know I have been talking to you, sometimes aloud (happens mostly when I sing.. you hear me then, don’t you?) and sometimes inside my head. Only this time, I wish to talk to you, like, one on one. Just you and me. And I want you to be all ears. So, if you’ll please put your 24 by 7 helpline on hold for a little while and pay me some undivided attention? Yes? Thank you.
I have just one question, Mr. God. Why? For so many years I have been trying to fathom your reasons. For bad things happening to good, for good happening to the evil, for everything being unfair.. for love lost and love found, for friends turning traitors and strangers turning friends.. for people dying.. for people wanting to die… You know, for years I have been believing you do it for “our own good”. At some point of time, I stopped getting my answers. I tried to find them, Mr. God, I really did. But when all I got back was vagueness and uncertainty, I kind of lost touch with you. Er, that would be when I sort of stopped talking to you, I guess.
But then, just like that, I started talking to you again, and although the cracks would come up from time to time, I stood by you. I wanted so bad for things to be okay between you and me, for the sake of my dear parents, who consider you their best friend, and for the sake of the closest people in my life who trusted you with their lives. I mean, it was difficult to be in that circle and not be close to you, right? So well. I started trying to find the answers yet again, Mr. God. And this time, I am really, really clueless.
Why? Why do things have to be so difficult? For us to appreciate the good at the end of it? But what about the happiness at getting things done easily? You know I love you a lot more when I know you were right by my side, helping me attain things easily, without struggling for them. What is it you’re saying? I’m being selfish? Umm, yes, I guess. But it makes it so much easier for me to be your friend if I know you’re watching my back. That’s what friends do, don’t they God?
I remember the last time when I had to struggle for something so hard it made the result worthless. Sure I was really happy, when it got over at last, but well, I couldn’t believe I had to work this hard to get it done. It wasn’t meant to be easy, I assured myself, because it would then be priceless in my eyes. But what about when it actually came to be something I look back even now with nothing but pain, Mr. God? Why would I have to go through it, not once.. but twice, Mr. God? Wasn’t one time enough?
I know you have reasons this time, too. Likely a well-written mystery novel that reveals its intricate twists only in the end, maybe some later day I will find the reasons to this as well.. But for now, Mr. God, could you just be a little merciful on me? Please, please, pretty please? They say you don’t throw anything my way I won’t be able to handle, and even if it is really, really difficult, you will give me the strength to make that work my way as well. So then if things aren’t meant to be easy, can you just throw some superhuman strength my way? Because I swear (oh, sorry).. I assure you, if there’s anytime I need it the most, it is now.
Hmmm. That’s all for now. Thank you for listening to me. I know the helpline button has been flashing like crazy, almost flickering constantly, and I will not monopolize you any longer. Here’s until next time, then. Take care and all, will you? It must be grueling, being God.