I am such an “ambiance” person, I tell you. I am filtering a mug of black coffee for myself, and invariably I am thinking chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, and buttered rusk biscuits with sugar sprinkled on top. And that’s what I end up eating (yeah, all of them; diet doesn’t begin officially until June). But it’s not just about the eating. It has to be in my room, sitting on the floor with the lights turned off and the windows open to let the honey-colored evening sneak into the room. Add to it Beth Rowley crooning in my ears about how somebody’s got her wrapped around their little finger, and I almost forget what awaits me in a week’s time.
Which is ironic, given how just last month I was almost obsessed with the whole MCA getting, or maybe not getting over thing. And I am particularly thinking of that one fateful evening when I was lying in my hostel bed drowning in my own pool of tears, sobbing on the phone trying to tell R I am finally giving up. I might be a week premature in celebrating the end of my official student life, but well, the report’s almost done, what remains is the presentation that I have to give, and I am done. Like, really truly completely done.
Three years ago when I had grudgingly joined the university in a course I, to say the least, dreaded the thought of, I had hoped with time I would get used to it. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I moaned about how three years seemed like it would drag on forever. I couldn’t have been more right. Right in the second semester I begged of my mother to let me call it quits and join some other two-year post grad course that I would actually enjoy doing. But I did not. Quit, I mean. And now that one week is all that separates me from completion of this course, I find myself looking back on the times gone by, and strange though it may seem, I do not regret anything.
True, I did not learn anything that looks like it could be useful, from the course itself. I mean I can’t code to save my life (or maybe I won’t.. does that make any difference?). I honestly don’t know any new fangled computer language I am supposed to know. I don’t consider myself “equipped for the industry” in the least. And in three years I could have been doing so many other things and been happy doing them. But well, if it helps, I am not scared of anything tech anymore. Like gadgets and new softwares and stuff like that. And let’s just be honest, had computer applications not bored me to death, I wouldn’t have contemplated taking up writing with renewed interest. Which I am really grateful about.
But I did learn a lot of things outside the syllabus. Stuff that will remain with me for maybe my whole life. I learnt…
…that I am indeed square peg surrounded by round ones. But only recently did I learn to have fun being one, and to be smug about it instead of lamenting about the round holes I couldn’t fit into.
… that pleasure can be derived from something as simple as a long solitary walk on street light painted roads, letting my legs, and not my mind steer me, to nowhere in particular. And how amazing it was to come back to my room with messed up hair, my legs tingling from all that blood flow and my cheeks flushed.
…that friends, by definition, are the ones who will stand by you right till the end. And that everybody else will get relegated to mere acquaintances. That what might seem as a good solid foundation might not necessarily mean that it will remain so. And that friends will be found in the least expected quarters.
…that people will say the silliest things to demean you. And that they do it without even wanting to deliberately hurt you. They do it without thinking, to fill their bland lives with momentary spice. After three years of being on the receiving end I can safely consider myself immune to petty rumors and wild stories centering around me. Best part, I can laugh about them.
…that good food can work wonders to your mood. No, seriously. Having lost my appetite for the hostel mess food, and finding it back in all the restaurants in the town, I really do appreciate the joys of good food more than ever now.
…that there’s nothing as good as your stomach hurting from too much laughing, your eyes filled with tears of laughter. And that the people who make you do that are the ones you must keep closest to you.
And to add to it, had it not been for this university, and this course, I wouldn’t have been able to call myself the lead singer of an all girls’ band, and neither would I have been able to be a part of a team representing the university and then the east zone in a youth festival, for the first and the last time. Had it not been for this university, I wouldn’t have met the people I did nor made the relations I made. True I would have met other people, made other relations, but maybe my life as I know it now wouldn’t have been the same without those people.
And that makes me delve deeper into whether everything that is happening is predestined after all. Like MCA had to happen. I had to live the last three years exactly as I did. Because otherwise, my life wouldn’t have been what it is today. Which is saying something, given how I feel particularly blessed about things falling in place finally.
So long, MCA. We part ways now. And though you lead me through dirt roads more than smooth highways, I love this destination, really. Makes it all worth it.