From Raspberry to Olive

Dear darling baby,

I saw you! I saw you! I saw you!

Oh, don’t be scared… Mommy’s not some crazy woman who yells things thrice; just slightly hysterical at having seen you for the very first time. So I had my first appointment with my ob-gyn a week ago, and until I saw you baby I was so anxious and nervous that my blood pressure registered a shocking high and my pulse shot right through the roof. And then Daddy and I met the kind doctor who’s going to help me bring you to this world. Oh baby you will love her; she is gorgeous and funny and has this amazingly soothing way of saying things. She asked me a few standard questions and then we proceeded to the ultrasound, which is how I get to see you. As I lay there waiting for the process to begin, trying hard to keep my galloping heartbeat under control, all I could think of was flashes from movies and TV shows where they show how beautiful the moment is when women see their babies for the first time (well, Mommy might not be crazy but let’s just say that Mommy is a little weird at times; good weird though).

And then baby, it happened. The doctor squirted warm jelly on my tummy and pressed her magical ultrasound wand on top of it and I could see you on the screen in front of me! There you were, this tiny little raspberry-sized miracle with a flicker for a heart… and then I heard your heartbeat go da-dum-da-dum-da-dum at a thumping rate of 171 beats per minute! And then I knew, baby. That it was just like they show in the movies, only a thousand times better because it was real. Daddy had his eyes glued to the screen and a grin that extended from his left ear to his right ear. He kept asking the doctor, “So everything is fine?” again and again for reassurance. And me? I just kept looking at you, and wishing I could keep looking at you all the time. You are hands down the prettiest blob I have seen till date, and baby, you are ours! Our blob!

The doctor then gave us three photos of you, which we proudly mailed to your G-Ma and your PapPap on both sides. It will be many years before you realize this for yourself, baby, but they love you so much! You are so tiny right now and they already love you to bits. One G-Ma has started planning how many baby beanies you will need and how many tiny mittens, and the other prays for your health every single day. One PapPap has already started thinking of names for you and the other keeps telling your Daddy to take care of me all the time. You are blessed, baby, just like you are a blessing.

Although it will be many weeks before you start hearing me from inside me, and even then it will be like “twenty thousand leagues under the sea” (Mommy’s copied that phrase from Juno, one of Mommy’s favorite movies!), Mommy’s a dork who keeps singing to you even now. And while “Baby don’t you cry, gonna make a pie” is our top favorite, we do love “Godspeed little man” as well, because Mommy doesn’t quite know yet if you will wear pink booties or blue. So don’t you worry if you can’t fall asleep from swimming all day long in the womb, or being cramped for space later. Mommy’s building her repertoire of lullabies all for you. Just like she is trying to hone her crocheting skills to make you booties. And watching YouTube videos of how to swaddle you just right, and burping you correctly. And daydreaming the rest of the time about you and just how much she is going to love you.

Keep growing my precious now olive sized blob with completely formed body parts. We have a long way to go together, just you and I; and Mommy cherishes each of these moments that she shares just with you.

Love only,

Mom On Tenterhooks.

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